How to stay clean in a messy world

Please share how does an upright honest Yawar survive and operate in this Messi Middle? Fancy leg work? 

Excellent question. It begins with deciding three things.

1. What are your goals?

Financial, power, influence, popularity, family, spiritual, and so on. This list is not in order of priority - not my priority anyway. 

Prioritize your goals and remember that each will be at the expense of another. You will need to make choices without which you will lose on all counts. As they say, ‘If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.’ So, make sure your priorities are thought out clearly and you limit their number.

2. How much do you need? By when?

How much money? How much property? How much of each of the goals? And what is the timeline for each?

The key is to differentiate between quality and quantity. With quality, the sky is the limit. There is no problem with wanting to be the best at whatever you choose. Indeed, you should. That is the only way to stand out and differentiate. You must differentiate, because without differentiation you are a grain of rice in a sack. Always stand out. Never blend in. Because leaders stand out and sheep blend in.

As far as quantity is concerned you must choose. If your quantity goals are high, for example, if you say that by the time you are 40, your net worth must be so many millions, or that you must own a Mclaren, or a multimillion-dollar home, or become the CEO of a global company and so on, usually you will only be able to do that at the expense of other goals. In most cases, it is your relationships, marriage, children, and friends that take a beating. For most people, to be able to step back when they see their marriage on the point of falling apart is very tough. They don’t. And later in life they regret that deeply. When you factor into the deal, divorce, alimony, child support, child custody battles, broken hearts, and disillusionment, especially of your children, it is simply not worth whatever you achieve. In my view there is no amount of money in the world that can compensate for the broken dream of your child. So, choose wisely.

3. And what are you willing to do to get there.

This is the toughest. What are your principles? For example, when I started Yawar Baig & Associates in 1994 (I started consulting/training in 1983, when I was a planter. But I launched my consulting practice 10 years later), I decided that I would not work for liquor and cigarette companies. So, though I was in Bangalore and I had several calls to do training for UB Group and ITC who paid way more than others, I never accepted that work. Another thing I decided was that I would never violate copyright and so I never copied and used MBTI and other psychometric instruments. 

In one case, one big company which trumpets about their integrity tried to force me to photocopy and use MBTI. I refused. ‘But everybody does it’, their Training Manager told me. I replied, ‘I am not everybody. I am Mirza Yawar Baig.’ ‘You are too proud’, she told me. ‘Yes’, I replied. ‘Of my reputation.’ I lost that business at a time when I was struggling to make ends meet. But I was clear that I would not earn money in dishonest ways. I never regretted that stance. The result is that in 40 years of consulting with major Indian and multinational corporations, I have never been asked to sign an NDA. And for the past more than 30 years, I’ve never made a cold call. That is priceless.

Lesson learnt - Keep your material goals modest because your self-worth doesn't depend on your title at work, your car, shoes, watch, phone, house or anything else. Never get into debt. Never buy anything because it is cheap. If it is something you would not buy at its full price, it is something you don't need. The best way to save money is not to spend it. 

Convert money into assets - land, gold, learning, charity. Learning is an asset worth more than gold. Track it and ensure that you do it constantly and regularly. Learning new things is the best way to keep Alzheimer's disease away. Focus on learning and contribution. If you do this, then you will not need to slog day and night to make ends meet. Focus on contribution and you will become very popular, because people love those who give. Not those who take. 

Don't compare yourself to anyone else in any way. Not in money, beauty, strength, body shape, or anything material. Just try to be the best you can be. Compare yourself to the best in learning, character, and contribution.

Value people and relationships. They are worth more than money. Much more. 

Finally, remember that when all is said and done and we stand at the threshold between this world and the next, we will not be asked, “What happened?” We will be asked, “What did you do?”

I say to myself, “I will never allow what is not in my control to prevent me from doing what is in my control.”

So, no fancy legwork. Just authenticity, integrity and truthfulness all the way.